Bless me Lindens for I have sinned

For too long have I wandered your creation without at least making an attempt to spread the good word. It has been nearly a month since my last writings of the paradise that is Second Life.

I am feeling guilty. For penance I download and install the latest SL client update. The new Mac system is surprisingly fast - I was expecting another 20 minute ordeal. Super quick and I'm in. There's a couple of interface changes to get used to, but nothing problematic.

I shall absolve myself with one of my favorite pastimes: digging through people's profiles. Never know what interesting stuff you might find.

Todays' foray into an unknown SIM starts with a mention in someone's profile that a place called "Tableau" is beautiful. Beauty is always in the eye of the beholder, though, so that's a pretty general recommendation. I like texture rich realistic environments, with great lighting, weather, scripts and sounds. Where walking around in first person point of view with headphones on gets disorienting. I seek the Holy Grail of virtual realism. For this reason alone, someday I'm getting VR goggles. But I digress...

Oh, what the hell. I've got a while before real life forces itself upon me again, so I search out the region, teleport, and await rez.

As the objects load around me I realize the person who made that comment was right, if you happen to be in the right state of mind. Like if you've picked and eaten the magic mushrooms that grow about the place. The colors, man! It's a psychedelic swamp, complete with a giant crocodile.

Flipping the streaming music on sure helps the effect. It's voodoo lounge, it's 60's jungle, it's jazzy and swank. I imagine myself with a martini, it's THAT kind of music. I'm suddenly thirsty, and wait......that crocodile......it has a sign on it...

It's a cafe. Inside a crocodile. The entrance is it's gaping mouth, straight down the throat. This is all suddenly familiar....am I in a cartoon?

I decided I should start taking photos, just because I knew words would not describe what I saw.


Nor do these photos do justice to the uncomfortable feeling I got while walking into the mouth of a crocodile, but once inside, the atmosphere of the place overwhelmed me with the sheer sparkly pinkness of it all.










Oh God. The colors! What you can't see is the animations on all these lights.


This is verging on Disney-like hallucinations. I'm expecting Madame Medusa to walk in any minute...








There's that drink I was looking for. Ok, so it's been sitting around a while, but it still looks fresh, right? Mmmmm....fruity!

I take a quick ride on one of the swings, but am soon compelled to wander in search of other interesting places in Tableau. Gotta remember my original intention here. Focus.







Back outside and down the hill is a cemetery, where the above-ground crypts are painted garish neon colors. and a glowing green fog creeps along the dark ground.


Oooh look, mushrooms!








This is like the graveyard for dead clowns or something. Hmmm....the green fog seems to be coming out of that grave...

I don't really want to look, but I can't stop myself. I head towards the grave and suddenly the ground drops out from under me.

Trap. Damn.

Everything goes black for a second.




Ok, so now I'm in a confessional with a polar bear. What WAS in that drink?

You don't suppose the Lindens heard me back there when I was talking about sinning do you?

Maybe I'm just being paranoid, but man, they have logs of everything you do!

Um. Right. I'll just get out of the confessional now.




Ah, this is an underground crypt-turned trip pad. Again with the blinky light effects. The furniture is in disarray, but there is at least one safe place to sit.

Man, I'm overwhelmed.









A riot of color in one corner draws my attention. It is a shrine covered in flickering candles.

Apparently it is a shrine for dead jazz musicians. I wonder if this whole place gets crowded with the ghosts from the cemetery above on nights this guy decides to put on a show for the undead.

Makes me wonder how anything without lips could play the saxophone, actually.




A karaoke kit lies in wait on the stage. It will not be ME that steps up. Probably another trap to teleport me to an even more disorienting place anyway.

No thanks. With all the dead around, I'm starting to feel creeped out, like I'm being watched. I'm going to have to climb out of here, as there does not appear to be a door anywhere.

Thankfully there is a shaft above the confessional for me to make my escape.

I wander to a nearby house seeking....what? A feeling of security and normalcy I guess...

And of course it's totally haunted. Did you just see that? I swear there was a guy standing there for a second....

I'm outta here!!










The next place I find is a voodoo shack. Complete with shrunken heads, chickens and all manner of mojo arts.

It is surrounded by the most colorful flowers and trees I've ever seen. God I hope this drink wears off soon. My eyes hurt.

I see a cluster of houses in the distance, and head for one of the bridges out of the swamps that I've been running around in for what seems like hours now.



Just off the bridge I turned to read the sign and saw this.

See??!! I told you there were ghosts. I've even managed to get this one to hold still for a photo.










Ahhh, some civilization. I must appear confused, lost or inebriated, for the first thing asked of me by one of the locals is if I'm alright.

Indeed, I am for now, the hallucinations seem to have slowed. At least for everything except that purple polka-dotted house back there.

Maybe I do need to sit down.





I find a tiny cafe where I can collect myself with a hot cup of coffee. Wow, that was some crazy stuff. How long have I been here? My head hurts.

Oh, man. Real life is calling. What a long strange trip it's been, but it's time to log off.

I press "Quit" and everything starts to fade, but the jazzy, trippy music seems to hang on, still playing, long after the user interface has disappeared.



My conclusion?
That. Was. Awesome. I want to do it again. Tableau is my new SL drug.